For some, it may have been a few days ago, as you discussed the final score of a football game or made plans to come home for Thanksgiving; for others, however, it has been quite a long time, for a variety of reasons.

In my work as a chaplain, I have had the blessing of counseling many individuals over a variety of issues. One recurring theme in many of their stories is their relationship with their father; often, the relationship was bad, abusive, apathetic, or simply non-existent. Many studies have suggested that the quality of our relationship with our father has long-lasting effects. For example, an article in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine (2006) concluded that, “daughters who perceive that their fathers care a lot about them…have significantly fewer suicide attempts and fewer instances of body dissatisfaction, depression, low self-esteem, substance use, and unhealthy weight.” Dads are important – for a variety of reasons…

With that in mind, those of us who are fathers have a great opportunity this upcoming holiday season to reclaim – even rehabilitate – our relationships with our kids. We may have made mistakes, said some things we shouldn’t have, even done things for which we need to ask forgiveness, but there is no better time than today to begin again. Will it be easy? Of course not – but it is worth the time and effort.

For some of us, our relationship with our Dad may be something we have learned to live without. Distance, disagreements, even divorce have put up barriers in your connection with your father, and you have simply gotten used to having a void in your life – maybe even rationalized that you don’t really need it anyway. If you find yourself feeling like this, there is something you can do about it: give him a call. Yes, I know he hasn’t asked for forgiveness (perhaps), but maybe he just needs you to open the proverbial door just a bit on your end.

For others, far too frequently these days, your father’s own choices caused so much pain that to even consider a relationship with him is simply unthinkable. While I can’t pretend to fully know your pain, I have counseled many who have experienced similar things. Many have found comfort and in reaching out to a Heavenly Father who “gets it” and who has promised, not just to bring justice (ultimately), but also to mend and heal your broken heart. Revelation 21:4 promises that, “God will wipe away every tear from their eyes…There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”

This Thanksgiving, could it be possible that your holiday this year won’t be so much about the meal or the football or the traveling, but – for the first time in a long time – it could be the start of a brand-new journey of restoration and healing and joy? It can begin with just a phone call, a text message, or even a prayer.